One Secret to a Working Mom Success: Celebrate the Seasons With Traditions

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Greetings from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania ! Things have been busy. I am still a working mom of three, working full time who is trying to make a difference. I do a lot of things and try to be present so that I can learn from them. I share them on this blog so that we can learn together. Below are some thoughts, hacks, and/or lessons that I have learned from navigating my world. "Family traditions counter alienation and confusion. They help us define who we are; they provide something steady, reliable and safe in a confusing world."— Susan Lieberman   Traditions have a way of defining a family, provide stability and give hope. They are especially important for woking moms who spend so much time working to provide for their family that they may miss some of the "traditional" mom things like bake sales, volunteering at the book fair, and a host of actual and seemingly made up holidays.  They are also important for families trying to reinvent themselves in the wake of d...
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Apparently neighbors want more than a cup of sugar...

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A male friend recently told me that a lesbian couple who lived across the street from asked him to father a child. Ten years ago that would have been noteworthy, but I didn’t blink. I know that Melissa Ethridge’s children were conceived using sperm donated by her friend. So, I assumed the couple simply wanted to use his sperm. He’s nice looking and is the type of man that would probably make a “pretty baby”. So, I only half way listened to the story. Then, he got to the good part.

The lesbian couple wasn’t seeking a sperm donation. They were looking for a variation on a common theme. They were seeking good old fashioned “stud service”. They asked him to create a baby with them "the old fashioned way". He's good looking, they were feeling him, and they thought that it would be great to tell the child that he/she had been conceived in love.

I had to ask the obvious question, “I thought they were lesbians?” Apparently, labels aren't as useful as they used to be. Although these two women were living as a couple, they didn’t describe themselves as lesbians. They described themselves as "sexual", not bi-sexual, just “sexual”. Personally, I'm not familiar with that use of that word, but I guess it means something close to kinky…

The only reason the child wasn’t conceived is that my friend declined the offer. Truthfully, he was intrigued by the idea. However, everyone has their limit. Somehow he thought that engaging in this procreating threesome plan would be going a little too far…

Anyway, once I understood what he was talking about I was shocked. Despite being rather candid in this blog, I’m uncomfortable asking my neighbors for sugar. Who knew that neighborly requests had gone this far?!
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Comments

Leviathan said…
Twenty years ago a single woman gave me the same proposal: to father a child for her. I was attracted to her but was horrified at the thought of fathering a child whose life I would not be a part of, and of making her a single mother with all the challenges that entails (despite her protests that she could handle it).

To make a long story short, I ended up marrying her, and we are still happily married and have two great kids.

Happy endings like this are the exception rather than the rule. I applaud your male friend for not succumbing. That is not a comment on the F-F couple who I'm sure have good intentions, but may not be thinking through all the implications of raising a child without a strong male figure in his or her life. Then there is the problem of complicating the women's relationship sexually (by, er, coming between them).

Neighbor or not, kudos to him for saying no.
11:13 AM
Anonymous said…
It seems like this presumptuous request has led to a life of love. Kudos to you!
3:32 PM
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