Babies Can Hijack a Morning Routine

When you're a mom poop takes on new found significance.  No longer is it a private matter. It becomes a matter of public consumption. You track it. You discuss it with doctors, your parents, and even strangers, without apology. You become WAY interested in poop--its color, its consistency, its smell. 

It all matters.

We have had several epic poopy incidents since our baby has been with us.  The first happened when I was going to work for my first meeting after having her. I was all ready to go to my meeting. I had lined up childcare and was ready to get ready. However, the poop intervened. It was all over the baby's swing and all over her. I had to clean her up, wash her clothes and the swing. Needless to say, there was no time to wash mommy. So, I attended the meeting without showering. I also attended without makeup. It was the first time I had been out of the house without makeup in fifteen years. Really?! Really.

Motherhood is more than a notion, let me tell you!

My second week back at work I was so pleased with myself. I had developed a morning schedule. I had figured out how to get the baby ready. I had figured out how to get me ready. I was good.  But of course you can't plan everything...

One morning the baby was energetic and chatty.  Beginning at 5 AM she decided that she wanted to chat with Mommy and Daddy, even though we were sleeping.  When we failed to respond she raised her voice and began to scream to get our attention.  She got it.  I tried to soothe her by feeding her and using her pacifier.  Then, her daddy arose and picked her up and changed her diaper.  She finally went to sleep at 5:50.  She slept until 6:45 or so.  Then she was ready to play again.    I arose after trying to quiet her with her pacifier.  Then, I fed her and changed her diaper.  There was poopy! It was very messy, watery, and it was all over her back. Since it was the second such diaper in 9 hours, she needed a bath.  Somehow I managed to give her a bath, take a shower, get dressed and put on makeup and make it to my meeting on time. (At least I made some progress!)After she was clean she was happy. When I left for work she was swinging and sleeping soundly. Of course, mommy didn't have that luxury!

There is something about early morning and bad poopy diapers.  It seems like when it is least convenient, the poop decides to explode! This past week the baby woke up happy.  However, quickly she became upset.   You guessed it. There was poopy, poopy everywhere! Once she becomes aware of her dirty diaper she demands that it be removed, immediately. 

When baby ain't happy nobody's happy.  So, we started acting, immediately.

There was so much up her back that Andre suggested that we cut her out of her onesie with scissors.  Daddies are so extreme sometimes! 

Why bring a gun to a knife fight?!

Mommy, the protector, to the rescue. Soap and water are what was called for, not weapons! :-) I just sucked it up and pulled that sticky, stinky onsie over her head.  For you non-parents, hell yeah it was gross, but that's what you do.  Then,  I took that little girl to the bathroom for a scrub down.

Andre was right about one thing though.  That onesie was destroyed.  It is now in onesie heaven, otherwise known as a landfill...

Motherhood can be a messy life, but it's all good!