Celebrating Black Maternal Health Week #BMHW25

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Mom and three kids Greetings from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania! Things have been busy. I am still a working mom of three, working full time who is trying to make a difference. I do a lot of things and try to be present so that I can learn from them. I share them on this blog so that we can learn together. Below are some thoughts, hacks, and/or lessons that I have learned from navigating my world. Black Maternal Health Week April 11-17, 2025 I am a Black mom to three wonderful children. I was blessed to have three successful births. While I am an attorney, my third delivery highlighted the potential risks that occur when a physician fails to listen to the birthing person. Initially, I chalked it up to the physician involved and limited it to my personal birthing experience. Then, I learned that I was not special. Overwhelmingly, Black women experience higher rates of birth trauma, birthing complications and negative birth outcomes.  These statistics are what lead to the creation of ...
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Motherhood is an Extreme Life Makeover...

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On Sunday I caught the end of "Extreme Home Makeover" and the crowd was yelling, "move that bus!" After the bus moved everyone could see the new and improved home for the family who was the focus of the story. The home was designed to meet their needs and represented a new life.

It got me thinking about how much my life has changed in the last eighteen months. 


When you're a part of a couple without children it is easy to coexist without the real merging of your lives. When you have children, your life changes profoundly. Children make you blend your lives just like TCBY twists vanilla and chocolate. Instead of coexisting, you're sharing a life.  And you do things you may never had done before.


Just nineteen months ago my weekend would have likely been filled with rest, relaxation, a nice dinner, and some shots.  Quite frankly, I can't even say what I would have been doing because my life was really spontaneous.  I rarely knew month to month what city I'd be in or what I would be doing. It was fun, but I was scattered. I was spending a lot of time, money and energy just to have a good time.

Now my good times are had rather cheaply.  This past weekend I attended a birthday party for a one year old and attended an Autumn Fest that was celebrating pumpkins, cider and kettle corn.  And I had the absolute best time just hanging out with Andre and the baby.

My life has been transformed. I am living a more purposeful life by default. I can no longer question my value to the world now that a tiny person is entirely dependent upon me.  Don't get me wrong, my work is enormously important. And my friends are enormously important.  However, I have enough self-awareness to know that if I disappeared tomorrow someone else could do my job and play understudy for me in my friends' lives. 

Mommy is the only job I've ever had for which there is no possible replacement.    Although that is a tremendous responsibility.  I rather like being needed.  Also, it has motivated me to invest in better self care. I eat right and get my rest.  I know that if I am not strong physically, emotionally and spiritually I cannot be the best mom. 

So if the baby ever asks me, I'll tell her that having her was the best thing I ever did.  I'll also have to thank her.  My old life was fun, but it was nothing compared to this one!

(Lest you think that I have become Martha Stewart and love plaid more than Prada, in future posts I will share how to be a mom and still have fun too!)
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