A Secret to Success as a Working Mom: Turn Burn Out Into Bliss and Embrace Joy

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Last weekend my youngest was committed to going to the "Water Steps" a man-made water fall in Pittsburgh by the rivers. (Fun Fact: Three rivers converge in Pittsburgh--The Ohio River, The Monongahela River, and the Allegheny River.)  He kept asking. I knew he was serious when he said, "If you won't take me, I'll ask  daddy!" Given that it was highly unlikely that would happen on an unscheduled day, I relented. So, we went. It wasn’t planned in the way most things in my life are. No calendar block. No checklist. No “productive” purpose attached. And, so in some respects it was uncomfortable. And yet, it seemed necessary. It was the idea of my 8-year-old—offered with the kind of urgency only children possess when something is profoundly important to them.
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Lessons for Working Moms: Nobody Can Replace You!

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"More stay-at-home mothers give themselves better marks as parents than do mothers who work outside the home..." Survey Highlights Conflicts for Working Mothers

As a working mom I appreciate that life is full of compromises. I work so that I can provide for my daughter. And I feel guilty about being away. Tonight I came to a realization working isn't the problem. It is the time that I spend away from my daughter that causes me conflict.

When did work start consuming me instead of being a way to make a living???


For the most part I enjoy working. My work is significant. I am good at it. Also, my work enriches me in many ways. I actually don't think that I am wired to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I know me. In order to make me feel good about being a SAHM I would need to have a staff. Don't judge me.

Being a working mother does present challenges. Today I realized that although I don't resent working I regret that I spend so much time away from my daughter every day. Work seems to get the best of me. The nanny gets the best of her. When I get home we are on borrowed time. How much can we fit in before bedtime???

I try to make the evening special. And she tolerates me until she gets too tired.

Sometimes in the evenings we both seem to dig deep. Somehow, in our borrowed time, we find a way to connect. We share a snack. We share a laugh. We share that special mommy and baby time that nobody can replace. And I realize that I don't need to feel guilty because every day, in the best way that I know how, I am her mom. And the great thing about it is, the baby knows it AND she loves me!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/01/us/01census.html

(Stay tuned about my comments about the "Mommy Wars" in future posts!)

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