“Working mothers'
laughter comes hardest when our double life is revealed for what it is: a
juggling act in which the balls can drop at any time, invariably on our own
head.” -Allison Pearson
Recently there has been more attention about the demands that working moms confront. Indeed, in increasingly more homes we are the primary breadwinner and also do the majority of the housework. That means that we are long on obligations and short on time. I’ll save my discussion about gender equity and justice for another post. Instead, I’ll focus on the end result. We simply have less time for ourselves, which is unfortunate. However, the real travesty is that we have less time for our children. While it is true that fathers should do more, the reality is we often don’t want them to. Out of all of the things that I have to do, the time with my children is the most enjoyable. The only time that seems like “work” is when I am exhausted from doing everything else.
Recently there has been more attention about the demands that working moms confront. Indeed, in increasingly more homes we are the primary breadwinner and also do the majority of the housework. That means that we are long on obligations and short on time. I’ll save my discussion about gender equity and justice for another post. Instead, I’ll focus on the end result. We simply have less time for ourselves, which is unfortunate. However, the real travesty is that we have less time for our children. While it is true that fathers should do more, the reality is we often don’t want them to. Out of all of the things that I have to do, the time with my children is the most enjoyable. The only time that seems like “work” is when I am exhausted from doing everything else.
Most working Moms Want More Time
A recent article on Today Moms
makes a similar point. It makes the argument that working moms really crave
more time this Mother’s Day as opposed to chocolate, flowers, or a blender. http://www.today.com/moms/what-working-moms-really-want-mothers-day-hint-not-chocolate-2D79619311.
When working moms choose to prioritize their kids it comes at a price. My Twitter handle indicates that I am “struggling
to keep my house clean”. It’s not merely a catchy tagline. It is the stone cold truth. Indeed, the article says “for many moms, the
cost of prioritizing time with the kids and time at work comes in the form of a
messy house…” For us, messy is the new normal.
I am on maternity leave right now. So, I have
had the privilege of spending time with my newborn son. (My maternity leave has
been interrupted by trying to sell our house, but that’s a topic for another
post…) During my normal workweek though, time is a rare commodity. My days are
full of meetings, memos and more mandatory tasks that only I can do. I would give my right arm for someone to complete
those mundane yet mandatory tasks that anybody can do.
You Can’t Create Time, but You Can Give It
Those tasks fall
into two main buckets—housework and errands.
They are things like laundry, the dishes, mopping the floors and grocery
shopping. There is honor in all work and
I take a certain pride in doing those tasks for my family. However, I would be
eternally grateful if somebody relieved me of those tasks gave me a helper to
do those tasks for a day or a week.
How can you give
time if you cannot create time? Do housework or run errands for a mom so she can
spend uninterrupted time with her kids or rest so she can approach the week
recharged. Yes, what I am suggesting is time intensive. However, it will be
time well spent if you would like to give the perfect gift and show your
favorite mom that she’s appreciated.
That being said, on behalf of my
working mom sisters though, if you can’t give time feel free to give really
large diamonds. I don’t know any mom who would turn those down (including me)!
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Comments