Working Moms Can Have Irrational Thoughts

Me on a panel sharing rational thoughts...

In four out of 10 households with children, women are the sole or primary breadwinners. Pew Research Center Report, 2013. This reality has caused some of these working moms to really contemplate whether they truly "have it all".   

Many Working Moms Question Their "Choice"

When you are the mother of a very small child, you long to be their everything. Very small children have many needs and their minds are malleable. Every day is an opportunity to help them become who you want them to be. Somebody is going to become their primary care giver. If you subscribe to traditional ways of thinking you likely believe that the primary caregiver will have the biggest influence on their lives. For most women who work, this belief contributes to our "mommy guilt" because we know that we cannot fulfill that role in our children's lives.

Five Irrational Thoughts Held by Some Working Moms (Tweet This) 

In our less evolved moments, if we have to work because we are responsible for paying the household's major expenses, our thinking can border on the ridiculous. Below is a list of irrational thoughts that some working moms sometimes have expressed to me in no particular order...

The thinking might go something like this...

1. Anger at Parents:  If only my dad had been a doctor, Warren Buffet, or Bill Clinton, I wouldn't have had to take out student loans. I'd likely have a trust fund. Then I would be able to work a less stressful job or not work at all.
2. More Anger at Parents: Had my parents encouraged my creativity, perhaps I would have been inspired to found Facebook, Google, or Microsoft. Or maybe, even though I can't sew, have zero fashion sense, and am colorblind, I might have become the next Tory Burch. Or even though I can't carry a tune and am painfully shy I could have been the next Mariah Carey. Then, I'd have enough money to afford a staff who would make my life so much easier!
3. Anger at Feminists: Had those damned feminists like Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, and Angela Davis not made such a big deal about inequality, I could be in my Lululemon yoga pants, hanging at Starbucks and getting my nails done while I wait for my kids to get out of school instead of schlepping to work every day (in rain, sleet, and snow) and running around just trying to accomplish basic household tasks. I'd also have enough time to stay on top of my laundry and other housework. In my spare time, I could have written the great American novel...
4. Second Guessing Choice of Major: I have to work so hard because I chose the wrong major... I should have listened to all those media stories and pursued a major in a STEM subject. I would have have discovered some life changing technology before I became a mom and be living off the proceeds right now instead of struggling to make ends meet...
5. Second Guessing Choice of Spouse: Maybe I married the wrong man. We think, He's handsome, a good father, and I love him. However, maybe my heart steered me wrong and I would have been better off marrying that nice, boring possibly gay guy that had a good job, nice benefits and was a gourmet cook. We could have made each other happy. 

In the back of our minds we realize that something might be wrong with these thoughts. That's when we do something truly rational and go buy a lottery ticket!

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