Kate Spade's Number One Lesson For Working Moms: Get Help When You Need It

Me with my favorite Kate Spade bag

We carried you with us daily

We bore your name proudly

We craved what you represented

We never knew that you craved the same 

Rest in Peace, Kate 

-An Ode to Kate Spade 

• Working moms are well known for their selflessness, work ethic, and their ability to persevere. They are not well known for being the best at self-care. 
• When people fail to care for themselves well, damage occurs. The extent of that damage depends greatly on the person.
• If you know and love a working mom, keep an eye on her and remind her to make taking care of her own health a priority. 
• Suicide rates are up 30 percent since 1999, CDC says
  Only half of people who died by suicide had diagnosed mental health conditions.

I was all set to post my weekly "Wordless Wednesday" post where I humble brag about my life by posting cute photos and inviting everyone to comment. I'm not saying that I'm too good for that now. It's just that today, after learning of Kate Spade's death by an apparent suicide, I want to direct this blog in a different direction.

I've been a Kate Spade fan for sometime. Indeed, my first bag was a knock off, I am embarrassed to say. I wanted to be a part of the lifestyle that her brand represented so badly that I faked it. Now, I'd die before I carried a fake bag. (Probably in really poor taste to use that phrase in this post, but you get my drift). 

Kate Spade's Death Has Lessons for Working Moms

To me, Kate Spade represented affluence, fun and making it. I coveted that and always imagined that the designer's life surpassed what I could even dream of. I mean, she had the husband the daughter and the money. What more could she want??? What we know now is that she probably craved peace most of all. She wanted to live a life where her demons didn't haunt her and her troubles didn't torment her. 

Those of us who saw her smiling face in pages of "Town and Country" and projected all of our hopes and dreams onto her didn't know s--t. How heavy was her crown? We'll never know. But what we do know is that eventually, this life got to be too much and she left her daughter behind, motherless.

I mention her daughter because I have read that she was a very devoted mother. Indeed, she stepped down from her brand in order to mother full time. She loved her daughter, but it wasn't enough--it wasn't enough to keep her here. Despite that immense love, she became overwhelmed by this life and she exited. She hanged herself in her apartment.

Suicide rates are up 30 percent since 1999, CDC saysOnly half of people who died by suicide had diagnosed mental health conditions.

When tragedy hits, like a lot of people I try to make sense of it. For me, that means a lot of internet research. From what I have read, Kate was an amazing person who was wildly successful, loved, and had a daughter, lots of friends and siblings. There was at least one documented challenge. She was married, but separated from her husband. Despite that challenge her friends and family have been quoted as being "shocked".

Like all suicides, her loss is quite a tragedy, but since she's famous we can use it to help others.

The lesson in this for all of us working moms is that we are not alone. We are a part of a family, a community, a life. We need to take care of ourselves and seek help when we need it from those we know or from strangers. There are crisis lines in every community and a national crisis line. (To learn more click here.)

Working Moms Should Get Help When They Need It

This working mom journey ain't for the faint of heart. And you cannot do it alone. It is overwhelming and it is all consuming. You can only win at this game called life if you are healthy and strong. Mental health is as important as physical health. Don't overlook it in pursuit of an Instagram worthy life.

Focusing on our kids is admirable, but we need to put on our own oxygen masks first. We cannot help our kids, care for our kids or love our kids if we are not here. 

As my mom says, the mind is fragile. You cannot allow unhealthy thoughts to take root in your mind because if they do they will grow and become stronger. Our children need us. The world needs us.

For tips for identifying the warning signs of suicide and tools for prevention, click here.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline--1-800-273-8255

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