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| Me, making a cup of tea. |
With the beginning of the school year, it made sense to me to finally publish this post, which is way overdue.
An Old Post From the Archives
Pittsburgh is a beautiful city
that has three rivers running through, which means that it relies on bridges to
make transportation work. For the past three weeks one bridge has been down and
that has brought the city to its knees, especially working moms. Indeed, ever
working mom I know, even the uber-organized ones who always look great and have
smiling kids, have a story about how the closure of the Liberty Bridge has
wreaked havoc on their lives. The problem is that the 55,000 people who would normally
be traveling across the Liberty Bridge are dispersed throughout the city
searching for a way to get to work and the city simply cannot accommodate that
easily.
This morning, my schedule was
disrupted. I put my makeup on earlier than usual and planned to throw on a
dress, get the baby ready and leave right after our daughter got on the bus.
Well, the bus was 30 minutes late because of detours due to construction and
the extra traffic due to the Liberty Bridge closure. Indeed, every day since
the bridge closed has been a game of “When will the bus show up”. That type of
uncertainty is a curse for this working mom. I who rely on schedules like I
rely on water—they are essential to my survival.
So, all of this uncertainty has me hanging on by a thread.
After the bus was late, I had to get dressed, get the baby ready and leave.
However, we had half the time to do it all and we felt the pressure. The baby
wanted to sit in his chair and eat breakfast while watching “Thomas and Friends”
or “Chuggington” like he does every other day. My answer, “Sorry kid, time to
drink that yogurt drink while standing. You cannot eat that chicken salad you’re begging
for because I am making lunch with it. And, be quiet because we need to get out the damn door! Fortunately,
I only thought the damn part. However, given his reaction, I think it was
assumed because he cried.
I don’t blame him. Nobody likes to have their schedule disrupted and to be rushed.
Seeing him upset and hearing him
cry made me feel more than a little guilty. I thought, here I am forcing him to
do something that he doesn’t want to do all to satisfy the needs of my work
schedule. As I felt the guilt, I began thinking things like, “Damn bridge! Damn
incompetent city officials who haven’t responded well to the traffic problems!
Damn detours! Damn bus! Damn! Damn! Damn!” The intensity of the emotions that I
felt before 8:00 AM this morning rivaled those of a hormonal teenager!
Then, I paused. First, because I have had more than a little
therapy and coaching I realize that guilt is an unproductive emotion. Second, a
light bulb went off for me. I realized that as I was rushing about trying my
damnedest to accommodate the requirements of someone else’s schedule, I was
teaching him a valuable lesson.
That lesson is: “If he does not want this chaos
to become his reality, he needs to find a way to determine his own destiny; and,
if he remains in Pittsburgh he should study city planning to figure out
alternate traffic patterns when a bridge closes”.
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