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| Having ice cream at Soergel's after the incident #NationalMiddleChildDay |
Sometimes it still boggles my mind that I have three children. It's not because I am overwhelmed by the responsibility, it is because I cannot believe that I am so enormously blessed. There was about a decade where I questioned whether I'd even become a mother. This was because of low motivation for the job as well as an uncertainty about whether I'd find someone with whom I'd want to create children.
Well, if you have been following this blog, you know that I found the guy and made the children--three of them. And I am enormously grateful.
Still, I struggle with how to parent all of my children in the best possible way.
Since I am the oldest and female, I intuitively get my daughter. She has great capacity for love, a keen intellect and a bit of a mean streak. In a word, she is me.
My mothering of my sons is less instinctive. I am unsure about my actions and the consequences of those actions especially with my middle child. As I mentioned, parenting my daughter is straightforward. Parenting the baby is easy. All he wants is hugs, which are easy to deliver. Parenting my middle child is different though.
Since I am the oldest and female, I intuitively get my daughter. She has great capacity for love, a keen intellect and a bit of a mean streak. In a word, she is me.
My mothering of my sons is less instinctive. I am unsure about my actions and the consequences of those actions especially with my middle child. As I mentioned, parenting my daughter is straightforward. Parenting the baby is easy. All he wants is hugs, which are easy to deliver. Parenting my middle child is different though.
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At the specialistParenting a Middle Child Has Been a Special Journey |
My middle child has a unique set of needs with unique desires. And often I am not entirely sure that I am meeting either of them. This past weekend he put a popcorn kernel in his ear, which was major. He said he placed it in there to "hide it".
Andre tried to remove the popcorn kernel initially. And like most men with huge egos he got invested in his project. I had to intervene. So, not only did I have a child with a "foreign body in his ear", but I also had a marital conflict. The conflict was both exhausting and annoying.
Thanks middle child.
Still, besides my inconvenience, it became clear that having the popcorn kernel in his ear validated something that my son seemed to need. There were two trips to the doctor's office where he got to have "mommy time". So, even though extracting the popcorn kernel was epic--it involved three people holding down my son and a physician extracting the kernel--I think my son enjoyed the attention.
To be sure, he cried during the extraction and for an hour afterward, but he also got a present and stickers at the office. Then, we had a lolly pop, ice cream, and a trip to the petting zoo. Then, I took him for ice cream. The ice cream was at an orchard that also had a petting zoo and little rides that you put $.50 to make it go, and we did that. We had such a great time that the oldest child was jealous. And although I regretted that she had that reaction, I was glad that the middle child had an experience that was worth coveting. So, although I don't want to encourage any other similar episodes, I am glad that my middle child felt special for the day, despite the circumstances.
To be sure, he cried during the extraction and for an hour afterward, but he also got a present and stickers at the office. Then, we had a lolly pop, ice cream, and a trip to the petting zoo. Then, I took him for ice cream. The ice cream was at an orchard that also had a petting zoo and little rides that you put $.50 to make it go, and we did that. We had such a great time that the oldest child was jealous. And although I regretted that she had that reaction, I was glad that the middle child had an experience that was worth coveting. So, although I don't want to encourage any other similar episodes, I am glad that my middle child felt special for the day, despite the circumstances.
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