"It's not wrong to be passionate about your career. When you love what you do, you bring that stimulation back to your family." — Allison Pearson
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| Mom at work |
A recent article in Working Mom
magazine entitled, “
I
Can’t Find Any Joy at Home” suggests that home is not always a happy place
for some working moms. And I am sure that sentiment is also shared by working
dads. The truth is as a childless person, home is often a sanctuary. After, a
certain age, most work to ensure that their home is the way that they’d like it
to be. They have the foods they want. They have the décor they want. Their homes smell the way they want--all of the time. Also, letting chores go by the wayside for a day isn’t a
big deal because you live alone or with another grown up. So, mess isn’t
constantly accumulating.
Once you add a one kid to the mix,
the entire dynamic changes. The work multiplies. And, if you don’t employ a third party to help you
manage it. Your sanctuary can feel like a penitentiary.
Because of that, the article said, “some mothers actually prefer their offices to their
homes—and it's still taboo to admit that.”
With the long weekend upon us, I've had time to think about this. Being a mother is both hard and thankless. You wake up thinking about your kids, all day you think about what they need, whether you're with them or not. And, because they are little humans learning about life, they are not always grateful. Indeed, they come into the world feeling entitled to food and comforting. It takes both time and training for them to learn gratitude. So, for years, you are quite literally doing everything for them without as much as a thank you.
Personally, I realize that I enjoy working more than I appreciated until recently. Yeah, it's super hard to mother small children and work because serving multiple masters who don't have aligned interests is challenging. My kids are most important to be sure. However, my clients need me. And I took an oath. As my rules of professional responsibility note, I am an attorney 24/7. I also have a fiduciary responsibility to my clients, which means that I am obligated to act in their best interest.
That all said, with all due respect to the moms interviewed, I wouldn't say that I prefer my office because there are a lot of things about work that are less than ideal. However, as one of my good friends said, it's a job. That's why they have to pay you to do it.
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| Mom at work |
The main issue is, at work, I have to dance to the rhythm of someone else's tune. There are my clients to be sure, but there is also my boss. The notion of reporting to someone and having to comply with their wishes--no matter how benevolent they are--takes a lot of energy, energy that might be more efficiently expended on other things. I imagine that's why
Meghan Markle is leaving the monarchy... I digress. Anyway, that's why I prefer being home. Home is a relief. Sure there's a lot of work. However, how I complete that work is entirely in my discretion and there is no performance evaluation.
I am confident that I don't prefer work to home because I am excited about every holiday and every weekend. The euphoria is because I don't have to go to my office. That feeling tells me everything I need to know!
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