An ordinary fall day in Pittsburgh
I have found that one of the secrets to success is to discover the beauty in ordinary days. I learned that lesson before the COVID19 pandemic, but the lesson has screamed more loudly since the pandemic has ensued. Cause one thing that we have had a lot of since the COVID19 pandemic has ensued is ordinary...
Indeed, when your social network becomes neutralized and social connections through work have shriveled up your days become full of ordinary. Social media has exploded with influencers posting photos about getting dressed up to go to the grocery store during the pandemic because they have no where else to go.
Indeed, the ordinary has become all we have.
I have small kids. So, my social life has been less vibrant than it used to be for some time. Still, every month or so, I used to do something deemed, "Adult Fun". I am in a multi-generational club called, "The Girl Friends" that meets once a month. Our meeting are filled with fun and fellowship and cocktails. Those meetings have been a highlight of my month since I joined before I got pregnant nearly eleven years ago. Since the pandemic, the meetings have gone virtual. They're nice, but not the same.
The Erosion of Social Structures Caused Me to Embrace Ordinary Joys
In addition to my Girl Friends meetings, every once and awhile I used to attend events where I'd dress up. Sometimes, I attended the events with my husband. Other times I attended the events with my friends. Either way, fun was to be had and I enjoyed them. Last year, because I attended one such event, I had a cameo appearance in a documentary on Netflix featuring Ruth Carter's costume designs. I have to say, that was supercool.
Although being in documentaries wasn't customary, going out held with it the possibility of some great adventure. On Valentine's Day this year, before the lockdowns, I attended an En Vogue concert and wound up dancing on stage with the band! Again, supercool. (If you want to see it
And although the two supercool things I just mentioned were unusual, just going out held lots of possibilities. And, now, we stay home. All. Of. The. Time.
As one of my friends said, when she goes to bed, she changes out of stretchy cotton clothes into a similar version of the same thing--one that doesn't smell like food. She feels like she spends her days cooking for her family without end. I can relate. I feel like I have never done so many dishes and laundry in my life. And they keep coming!
And, when we stay at home we are bombarded by messages that fill us with fear. I'm not sure what they're actually saying. However, what I am hearing is, "Avoid crowds, or you'll die." "Don't travel, or you'll die." "Stay 6 ft. away, or you'll die." "Keep your A-- the F--k home, or you may annihilate your entire family and destroy the entire healthcare system." I know these messages are designed to protect us. However, sometimes I wonder who is assessing how these messages are affecting our mental health.
I digress though. This piece is focused on finding the joy in ordinary life. So, we have to remind ourselves to see and experience the joy. As a good friend of mine says, "life is to be enjoyed not endured."
I think spending so much time in the house these days is a constant reminder of the mandatory yet mundane tasks that make our worlds go 'round. And, if we are not careful, we can allow the work that goes along with raising a family and maintaining our lives distract us from the privilege we have to have these responsibilities and the related joy.
I am not saying that I get it right all of the time. I get frustrated. I curse. I yell. I lose my patience. That said, I am mindful to allow those emotions to pass quickly and instead, I allow my gratitude to resonate. Even in the midst of my challenges, I am blessed with steady employment, good health, and a healthy family. Also, I am blessed with the wisdom poured into me by my grandparents.
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