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| Kid Making Own Lunch |
"Control your own destiny or someone else will." — Jack Welch
I believe that we are all capable of controlling our own destiny. However, I also believe that it is harder to believe that when you are a working mom. What makes it hard is that working moms are often part of highly matrixed organizations as well as members of households that include other people. That said, I would submit to you, even when the going gets tough, and there is no end in sight, when there are projects to complete in the middle of night, and you feel as if there is no one parenting but you, identifying some success tips can see you through.
So, in 2023, I will continue to share posts about my life and experiences that made me feel both humbled and successful. However, I also decided to develop a closer relationship with you by letting you know more about my secrets to success. (This idea was actually given to me by my friend, Becky Willis.) I will share one secret a month with you. Hopefully, this exercise will bring us closer together and also help us all succeed.
Here's hoping!
My First Tip: Raise Independent Kids
Two of my kids attend a Montessori school and I have come to believe that their independence is one of the keys to my sanity. Indeed, I have read about helicopter parents who do everything for their kids even after they're grown. And, I have to say, I don't get it. I can't even manage to do everything for my kids now and they're kids. The reason for my struggles is that I work full time at a very demanding job. For that reason, I need everyone in my household to pull their own weight, as much as they're able.
With every core of my being, I am committed to teaching my kids that nobody is responsible for cleaning up after them. As I have learned at work, my neighborhood, and in my relationships, too many adults never learned that lesson and it is a problem.
As soon as my kids have been able, I've made them clean up their own area after eating. When they leave their stuff on the floor, I make them clean it up, and/or move it to a central location for them to clean it up. I have let them put their own clothes on as soon as they could do it. Sometimes, their shirt is on backwards or their socks don't match and I have either corrected those mistakes or let them live with it. Neither one of those mistakes results in harm to anyone. So, I've learned not to care too much about them.
Raising Independent Kids is a Form of Self-Care
My way of parenting is consistent with my own upbringing. As soon as I was old enough to tackle a task, I was required to do it. I was a latch key kid at nine. I began cooking dinner for my entire family when I was ten. I helped my sister with her school projects when I was eleven. I started babysitting at twelve. I learned to clean a house, change a car's oil and change a spark plug when I was fifteen. And, I ironed my dad's shirts in order to pay for my share of the limousine I took to the prom.
I know that everyone parents differently. That said, I encourage you to allow your kids to do all they can. It helps make them responsible and independent. It also helps them to develop confidence and understand their role in the family. Also, it takes some tasks off of your plate and that will reduce your stress. Indeed, it is a form of self care.
What's not to love about that?!
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