Mothering during the Summer

Mom with three kids

"Summertime and the livin' is easy..." -Gershwin

It's summertime and the living is supposed to be easy. My summer has been anything but.  It's had cloudy days, tearful nights. And questions, lots of questions. It has had lies and betrayals. And relationships that have eroded beyond repair. It has brought me to my knees. And, it has required profound resolve to remember life's true meaning just to make it through. And  required the maturity to do what is right despite what I may be feeling.

It has been a lot. It has been incredibly hard. And, it has taught me that I am incapable of being broken. So, even though summertime ain't been easy, this life is to be celebrated. Because like Gloria Gaynor, "I will survive!" And, I have. I am even thriving.

Being a working mom is harder in the summer...

Kids enjoy summer and reach their own limits

The three souls that have been entrusted to me give me great joy. And they are good because I ensure that they are good. Being their mother, planning their future, and loving them is a tremendous privilege. That said, I have also learned that love, however you define it, is not enough. Children require daily care, thought, and provision for their wellbeing. But the joy is also found in the work. My ability to do the work every day helps give my life meaning and seeing the rewards of that work manifested in their lives is a tremendous reward. That said, anybody who has raised children knows that you cannot guarantee that the work is productive. You have to keep working anyhow. And, the work, in and of itself, has to be enough.

That said, even though my summer has been challenging, being a working mom during the summer is never easy! A lot has been written about the "summer slide" where kids lose skills. However, less has been written about the "summer scramble" where working moms run themselves ragged trying to make their kids summer dreams come true. During the summer, working moms lack their common supports. They no longer have the benefit of school buses, compulsory schooling or a set schedule. And while we all welcome a relief from the grind of the school year, being relieved of the supports is a bit jarring. 

And yet, working moms rise to the occasion and keep going anyway...

Summer camps and programs provide privileged kids, including mine, with a variety of enriching experiences. This enrichment comes at a cost though. It is expensive and figuring out how to get them to various locations requires such extensive coordination that working moms could be recruited to be air traffic controllers in a pinch.

My own kids have collectively attended five different summer programs, each with different requirements and schedules. I am not complaining because these were activities that they chose. And, my in-laws are super humans that help my world go 'round. They are always available. And, I am grateful for that. That said, the coordination is real. Anybody who tells you that the summer isn't harder isn't actively parenting. So, right now, as the end of July approaches, celebrate the kids who are living their best lives and raise a glass to the moms who make it. happen. Chances are, they are working every day, parenting every day, and keeping track of everyone alone, even if they are married...

To the working moms!

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